The One

After a lifetime of searching, I’ve finally found her. She’s everything I’d hoped she’d be, and even more than I’d dared to dream. It’s amazing how quickly one’s life can change when least expected, when you’re suddenly thrown into a completely new and amazing direction you never thought possible, all because of what seemed like a chance decision at the time, but what you later realized was fate.

Now, before the hecklers in the peanut gallery burst out into mock gagging, let me explain. {Dramatic drumroll…} I finally found the cashier I want to spend the rest of my shopping with!

It happened the other day. I didn’t need to stop at the grocery store on the way home from work, but I did anyway. I had plenty of checkout lines to choose from, but for some reason I took 5. Call it fate, call it destiny, call it dumb luck, call it anything you want. I’m just glad I did.

The cashier barely made eye contact. That was the first sign of the magical journey I was about to embark on. There was no awkward chit-chat, no forced pleasantries. She didn’t care if I’d found what I was looking for, so she didn’t ask, and I didn’t want to tell her if I did anyway. Instead, she began scanning items as soon as I put them down from my basket. Her hands were a blur, and I quickly fell behind. This had never before happened in my life, and I immediately realized that I’d found something special. This cashier was a keeper!

I doubled my efforts, almost breaking a sweat as I emptied my basket, all while the scanner expelled an almost unbroken line of beeps. Beepbeepbeepbeep. Now that’s music to my ears! (Usually, it’s something like beep….beep….beep…“So, are you having a good summer?”…………beep………“Now these are 3 for 3 dollars if you have a coupon. Do you have a coupon? No? Are you sure? Are you really, really sure? You should check your wallet. I know I would. No? Well, I might be able to find one for you if I stop everything I’m doing and look here…Excuse me?! Now that language is not appropriate young man!”……beep……beep...)

Before I could even really process it, she had all of the items scanned and the total I owed displayed on the screen. She stood waiting, looking almost bored, like a gunfighter in the old west who’d taken care of another tinhorn looking to earn a reputation. Still a bit taken back, I fumbled with my wallet as I tried to extract my credit card. I could almost feel her icy glare on me, as if she was thinking, “Hurry up! I don’t have all day!” I guess you could say I was a little intimidated, even though I was at the same time completely and utterly overjoyed. I steeled myself, wanting to exit with a vestige of pride, and confidently swiped my card. Even the machine seemed to work faster as it verified my purchase, and in what seemed like nanoseconds, she’d given me a receipt without as much as fake smile, and I was on my way.

Fantastic!

That’s the way check-outs should be. No friendliness, no jokes, nothing but pure efficiency. If any words are exchanged, they should be frank, to-the-point, and about the business at hand. This girl was the exact opposite of my arch-enemy (Remember her?) and I never want to let her go. She’s the kind of cashier who’d boot you out for having 16 items in the 15 or less express line and not feel bad doing so.

So call me cautiously optimistic. I’ve gotten my hopes dashed before and my dreams of finally achieving efficient shopping torn to itty-bitty pieces, but this time it feels different, like something truly special is occurring, something that could really last.

Unless she gets another job. But I don’t want to think about that. The world wouldn’t be that cruel, now would it?