I bought a new tennis racket today because my old one was warped and bent out of shape.
I’d like to say that my damaged racket was the reason for my serves and returns having the same precision and raw power of a two-year old throwing rocks into a lake. However, it’s the other way around. My tennis racket got bent because of my serves and returns having the same precision and raw power of a two-year old throwing rocks into a lake.
I’ll explain: I’ve developed the bad habit of throwing my racket in frustration after screwing up. Sometimes I’ll throw it down to the ground, where I then have to fight the urge to jump up and down on it several few times for good measure. Sometimes I’ll lob it high into the air and watch in satisfaction as it comes down and makes a loud clattering noise. Sometimes I’ll sidearm it across the court where it will skitter along for a while, making me happy to watch until I realize I have to go and retrieve it.
At least I screw up in interesting ways. Sometimes I’ll dramatically hit the ball into the net. (Not necessarily the net on my court, mind you.) Sometimes I’ll send it careening way off to the left or right, not even coming close to the spot I’m aiming for, and possibly endangering others. (I wouldn’t be all that surprised if one of my errant shots someday took out some old lady walking her dog on the sidewalk). Sometimes I’ll blast it way over the court. Sometimes I’ll somehow manage to hit it behind me. Sometimes I just whiff and miss it completely.
No matter how I screw up, though, I still handle it in the same way: First, I frown in complete disbelief. This is to try and make anybody watching believe that what has just happened was a complete fluke, something totally beneath my stature as a tennis player, and something likely to never happen again. (Even if I did the exact same thing the previous point.) Second, to show my true passion for the game, I’ll throw my racket.
When you combine my throwing-the-racket habit along with the number of times I’ve screwed up, it’s no surprise that my old racket quickly became scratched, bent, and virtually unusable.
So now I have a new racket. However, I’ve already decided I’m not going to throw it. Instead, I’m going to conquer my anger. I realize that this is going to be tough, but I have a number of ideas I can use to help:
1) I can keep my old racket close at hand, and when I screw up I can just throw that instead.
2) I can start swearing when I screw up, which will hopefully distract me from throwing my racket.
3) I can never play tennis again.
I’m not sure what option I’m going to go with. I kind of like them all.
One thing is certain, though: I’m sure I’ll have plenty of chances to determine which one works best.
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I happen to have had a similar racket, although its lifetime was very short, most likely shorter than the one you mentioned. I think mine lasted half of the season before being twisted and mangled. But I'll admit, it does bring a certain amount of enjoyment to throw it at the ground. Here's a free tip for ya: Use the old racket at all times when playing somebody much better. That way you'll always have an excuse. And you'll really need to throw something.
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