KISSing at Christmas

Keep it simple, stupid.

We’re all familiar with the KISS methodology. Personally, I take it very seriously, which is why I never cook anything that would require the use of more than one pot or pan. (Hamburger Helper doesn’t make the cut. You need a pan for cooking the hamburger and whatever-was-in-the-box combination, along with a separate container to mix the topping. “Who exactly are you helping!?” is something I would yell if I tried to prepare it.)

For me, this also pertains to Christmas decorations. Now, I have nothing against Christmas decorations. I just don’t feel the need to completely transform my living quarters once a year, and then re-transform it back a few weeks later. Instead, I choose the simple approach, one which will get me into the Christmas spirit without causing me to pass out from the exhaustion caused by stringing up three miles of lights or from having a large tree topple onto me after I’d set it up in the stand incorrectly.

My decoration strategy follows a two-pronged approach: The first prong is Charlie Brown, and the second prong is the best Christmas tree ever.

By Charlie Brown, I mean my Charlie Brown figurine, purchased from K-Mart, which comes complete with his drooping, pathetic Christmas tree. It seems perfect that one of the few decorations I have is that of a pathetic decoration. It’s a funny kind of irony. Plus, you can’t go wrong with Charlie Brown.

The best Christmas tree ever, however, is my centerpiece. While this Christmas tree is plastic and small, its decorations were all crafted from the hands of my nieces, which is why it is, without a doubt, the best Christmas tree ever. Plus, it’s small enough that I can store it without ever having to un-decorate it. Each year I just pull it out of the closet and it’s ready to go. (Now, if only Hamburger Helper would take notice of things like this they might learn something about efficiency.)

So, each year it takes me approximately one minute and thirty seconds to get decorated for Christmas. It’s a good system, and I urge you to remember the KISS method during Christmas if you want to cut down on your stress. That is, of course, unless you’re talking about baking Christmas treats. Then you should feel free to go wild. You can never have enough of them.