Thirty About Thirty

Today I am thirty years old.

This is a monumental time in a person’s life, and, as far as I can tell, I can handle it in one of two ways; I can either go into a full-fledged panic where I blow it completely out of proportion and freak out, thinking that my very life is slipping away before my eyes, or I can treat it in a dignified manner in which I calmly reflect on the many valuable experiences I've had and how I can use them to help me carve out a productive and enjoyable future.

Obviously, I will be going with the full-fledged panic option, as it’s a time-tested tradition. However, during a small window of dignified reflection that I recently had between anxiety attacks, I did manage to create a list of thirty positive factoids to me being thirty years old, which I will present to you now.

Note: While you are reading these, please be warned that they were written before I turned thirty. Now that I am thirty, I will most likely have forgotten them and will be entering into a pre-mid-life crisis of some sort, where I will attempt to purchase something like a new speedboat, while also trying to get into shape so I can walk on as a kicker for an NFL team.

Thirty Good Things About Being Thirty

30) I can still lace ‘em up and run myself ragged in a good game of pickup basketball. Sure, I may have to stretch for an absurd amount of time beforehand to prevent catastrophic injury, but I guess in the big picture it’s a fair trade-off.

29) I can remember buying music cassettes, which now makes me appreciate iTunes a whole lot more than those who have only experienced the digital era.

28) I’ve been able to watch It’s A Wonderful Life an impressive amount of times.

27) Sports no longer rules my life. I’ve grown beyond living and dying with the fortunes of a group of millionaires who do not even know that I exist.

26) I have been alive long enough to remember The Dukes of Hazzard. Also, MacGyver.

25) I’ve gotten so many song lyrics stuck in my head over time that they have pushed out other, unimportant, bits of information that I’ll never need anyway, such as my social security number. However, I now can sing the chorus of Baby’s Got Her Blue Jeans On at the drop of a hat.

24) I no longer worry about trying to keep up with the latest trends in order to look ‘cool’. I’ve long since given up on that, which keeps my stress level down. Basically, as long as I’m not on fire, I’m good to go.

23) I can now listen to My Next Thirty Years and relate to it.

22) My mommy will still cook for me if I ask her nicely enough.

21) I’ve heard that thirty is the new twenty, so party on!

20) Sometimes people will call me ‘sir’. Granted, I always look over my shoulder to see who they’re talking to, but it’s still pretty cool.

19) I probably won’t be carded if I ever decide to buy that first pack of cigarettes.

18) I was able to play games growing up on a Commodore 64 computer. It was awesome.

17) I no longer think a movie is good solely because it contains big explosions. In fact, I’d like to think I’ve become somewhat sophisticated in terms of my movie watching tastes. Yet, I still believe that The Naked Gun is hilarious.

16) I’m not sixty.

15) I’ve received way more Christmas presents in my lifetime than some snotty sixteen-year old ever has.

14) I still derive immense pleasure from driving my car through big puddles.

13) Speaking of my car, it is not some $200 heap that is held together almost entirely by rust. (That’s one plus in the ‘having a job’ category.)

12) I’ve grown to the point where I can make adult, responsible decisions on my own, such as when I decide not to eat something because it looks really yucky.

11) I sort of remember when the Lions were sort of good.

10) I believe I am now old enough to wander around and yell randomly at teenagers who are wearing their hats sideways, while also occasionally muttering things like, “Youth is wasted on the young!”

09) I’ve almost blocked out all of my memories of being a janitor in college.

08) I have more than enough free time to compile long lists of things to publish on my blog, since I no longer have to worry about young person things such as studying or gelling my hair.

07) I got to listen to Ernie Harwell while growing up. Also, Paul Carey.

06) I feel I’ve earned the right to now say, “Back when I was a kid…” and then launch into a long, rambling story that makes no sense and in no way pertains to the current topic being discussed.

05) I may be old, but I'm not so old that I can predict the weather based solely on how my bones are aching due to the atmospheric conditions.

04) I can now have mature, adult conversations that delve deeper than anything I would ever have talked about when I was twenty. Yet, I have no issue reverting back to discussions that are purely nonsensical, such as who would win in a fight: Fred Flintstone or Barney Rubble?

03) I now have accumulated a good number of nieces and nephews, and they will always keep me young at heart.

02) I’ve been alive long enough to know who my true friends are.

01) I’ve realized that the older I get, the more I remind myself of my dad, and in the end that’s more than I could ever hope for.