Furious Fowl

So it turns out that using a slingshot to launch various types of birds with special abilities at green pigs that snort a lot and sometimes wear helmets is incredibly fun.

Yes, I’ve become hopelessly addicted to the game Angry Birds, along with a large percentage of the world’s population. It’s simple, yet fun, all without becoming boring. More importantly, you get to knock down stuff by throwing other stuff at it, which all males find hugely entertaining due to basic genetic programming.

I won’t go into the details of the game, as its something best discovered on your own. I will say, however, that if you ever decide to give it a chance you’ll most likely not be able to put it down. There have been several nights where I’ve found myself lying awake in bed much later than normal, feverishly tapping and swiping on my phone, all while whispering, “Just one more level, just one more level, just one more level….” (This had led to some sleep-deprived mornings at work where I stumble around aimlessly, seeing nothing but flying birds and snorting pigs everywhere that I look.)

The funny thing is that I normally miss out on fads, most of the time intentionally. For example, I’ve never listened to a song by Lady Gaga in my life, mainly because she seems annoying. I’ve also never seen a minute of Lost, nor have I ever watched American Idol. I’m also quite certain that I’ve never read a book endorsed by Oprah. (If so, I’d probably feel a little sick inside.)

But I am fully on board the Angry Birds bandwagon, even though it's wasting the vast majority of my free time. My plan is to wholeheartedly immerse myself into it so I either make it through the entire game or burn myself out trying. Only after that will I be able to resume my normal daily activities, such as eating, shaving, and wearing clothes that have been washed sometime in the last month.

But until then, I’m nothing more than an unthinking, pathetic drone, following the whims of popular culture. However, when the evil green pigs steal the plucky birds’ eggs, somebody has to step up and help the birds extract justice, and I'm just that person!

Plus, did I mention that throwing stuff at other stuff is cool?