An All Or Nothing Christmas

I have a dilemma.

I either have to choose all or nothing. All would be fun, but way too much work, especially from a male perspective. Doing nothing makes sense from a rational point of view.

What’s on the line here? Only my Christmas spirit.

Let's begin with some background information.

At my old apartment in Wisconsin, creating a comfortable, “homey” if you will, atmosphere was not a high priority for me. By this I mean if I offered a homeless person the opportunity to spend the night at my place, that homeless person would have declined on the grounds that the streets would have had more comfortable furniture.

With this in mind, it’s easy to see that Christmas decorating was also not a priority. (Neither were chairs and lamps.) I did have one decoration that I was, and still am, proud of: a two foot tall plastic Christmas tree decorated entirely with homemade ornaments produced by my nieces. The source of the ornaments alone make it, and I’m not exaggerating here, the best Christmas tree in the history of the universe, and perhaps several other parallel universes. Still, a two foot tall Christmas tree, as glorious as it may be, does not really give a room the feel of Christmas.

When I moved to my new apartment in Minnesota, I made it a priority to furnish my living room with something beyond apple crates. (No, I really didn’t have apple crates in Wisconsin. They’re too expensive.)

I accomplished this, and now December has rolled around. I recently pulled out my tree and my other decoration, a Charlie Brown figurine, complete with his own droopy tree. I set them out, but I quickly realized that it didn’t feel right. I was moving up in this world! I had a bookshelf now! I needed more than the same decorations! So I spent five bucks on a string of lights which I now have bordering my window/sliding door. I thought this would be enough for a respectable bachelor pad, but I was wrong. It looks pathetic, like the lights are some sort of outcast Christmas decorations that no other Christmas decorations would dare be seen in public with.

So I’ve realized it has to be all or nothing. Either I have to take down all of my decorations (allow 30 seconds for this) or I have to go all out and create an indoor winter wonderland complete with lights, full-sized trees, mistletoe (oh yeah!), wreaths, and plenty of sugary, Christmas-themed candy.

But I really don’t want to go all out! It’s foolishness! (Somewhere, my Dad is beaming.) It’s so much work for such a little time, plus I don’t want a whole wing of my apartment devoted to storing Christmas decorations. It just doesn’t seem worth it.

Still, it would be nice to bask in the Christmas spirit.

So that is my dilemma. As I write this, I’m looking over at my lonely string of lights, doing their best to be festive, but which instead are looking like nerds nobody wants to associate with. I feel like I should give them friends or put them out of their misery.

I’m not sure what I’m going to do. Decisions, decisions.

Either way, I think that plenty of sugary, Christmas-themed candy is in order. You gotta have some Christmas spirit, right?