Tricks, Treats, and Dropkicks

I was nervous, and justifiably so. I was going to be giving out candy on Halloween for the first time, and I didn’t want to screw it up.

I had visions of several ways that I could make a complete fool out of myself. These included me panicking and saying “Trick or Treat” instead of the kids, and me freaking out at the ghost at my door and dropkicking it across the lawn. Talk about stressful!

It felt similar to when I was about to interview somebody in a professional setting for the first time. If anybody should have been nervous, it was the applicant, and not me, but I’m a worst-case-scenario kind of guy, and I couldn’t help but wonder what I’d say if I was asked, “How can this be a good company when they’ve hired somebody so clearly incapable as you?” I mean, how do you reply to that?

There were several worse-case scenarios for Halloween. Did I have enough candy? Or did I have too much? Not having enough would make me look ridiculous after I ran out and had to resort to cooking omelets for anybody else who dropped by. Having too much would likewise be disastrous, as I would inevitably come out of the following weekend about ten pounds heavier and covered in chocolate. Streeesssssssful!

But I wanted to face my fears, so I turned on my front light and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Finally, a few children showed up, and I’m proud to say that I somehow managed to keep from embarrassing myself! Perhaps the universe is lulling me into a false sense of security so it can crush me later, when I’m least expecting it, but I’m not going to worry about that now. Instead, it’s time to celebrate!

But before the Mountain Dew begins to flow, I did make an observation regarding the different genders and Halloween that I’d like to share. All of the little girls were adorable and polite and dressed up like cats and princesses. Only one boy showed up at my door, and he was dressed as a serial killer, with a hockey mask and a sword. Make what you want of it.

The only bad news was that I didn’t use up all of my candy, and I’m really hoping to not go on a weekend chocolate bender. So anybody who wants a few Three Musketeers or Reese’s peanut butter cups, feel free to drop by. Just don’t dress up as a ghost. You don’t want to tempt fate.