Confrontation Avoidance

Right or wrong, I’m a person who typically avoids confrontations. For example, if somebody were to walk up to me and slap me upside the head, my response would most likely be: “My bad, my head got in the way of your hand. Sorry ‘bout that. Hey, you wanna help me look for my ear?”

Not that I’m a complete pushover, mind you. Every man has his limit. For example, after twenty or so slaps, I might just have to do something about it. So beware.

Still, in general I tend to take the path of least resistance. For example, I was recently checking out at the grocery store, and the cashier asked me, “Did you find everything you were looking for?” Automatically, I told her that I had. However, that wasn’t the case. They were out of the lunch meat that I usually buy.

So, why didn’t I tell the cashier this? She’d asked me explicitly if I’d found everything I was looking for, and I, in fact, hadn’t. It was my right, nay my duty, to inform her of the item I hadn’t been able to find.

But instead I chose to say nothing, to keep this potentially vital piece of information to myself. Why? I guess because I knew that if I said everything was okay, then life would go on as normal. However, if I said that I didn’t find what I was looking for, I’d be entering into unknown territory, and I wouldn't know what would happen then. I can, however, picture several scenarios:

Scenario One: They note the missing item and do their best to restock it quickly.

Scenario Two: They respond politely and promise to do their best to not let it happen again, even though as soon as I leave, they disregard all that I said, all while complaining of how arrogant I was to actually have the nerve to criticize their operation.

Scenario Three: They ban me from the store, sending me on my way with a hearty, “If you don’t like it, then shop somewhere else, you ungrateful buffoon!”

Scenario Four: A secret button under the register is pressed. Two burly men, both named Hugo, materialize on the scene and drag me to a dingy back room. There they rough me up (or, in technical terms, give me the business) until I suddenly remember that there was never a problem, that the store has everything I could possibly ever need, that my complaint was a result of a major lapse of judgment on my part, and that I love the store and will frequent it until the day I die, all while making certain that any offspring of mine will be taught from birth that shopping there is the only viable option in terms of obtaining foodstuffs to sustain oneself.

Talk about fear of the unknown! I don’t know about you, but Scenario Three scares me! I mean, then where would I get my groceries?

The point is, I purposely avoided a confrontation that, despite my paranoia, was such a minor issue it’d be almost foolish to even consider a confrontation.

And that is why I’ll never not like any gift I’ll ever receive, even if it’s dirt or used gym socks, I’ll agree that every song anybody ever plays for me is “pretty good”, and I’ll always swear on my life that Santa Claus is a real person who’s diligently running his workshop at the North Pole, albeit the fact that he's most likely currently looking into outsourcing his labor to China.

This begs the following question: Should I become more assertive? Should I not shy away from confrontations, and instead even welcome them? My first instinct is to say ‘no’. I am who I am, and I’m too far into my life to change now. But if you think different, I can probably change my mind. I mean, there’s no use in getting into a thing over it.