The Dangers Of Arm Flapping

Has this ever happened to you?

You’re in some sort of social environment, minding your own business. However, this changes when an attractive member of the opposite sex starts heading your way. You frown a little, because you’re naturally suspicious, and you wonder just what the catch is. Then, however, the attractive member of the opposite sex flashes a big, knee-melting smile and subsequently begins to wave enthusiastically.

Whoa. This must be your lucky day. The stars and planets are obviously all aligned for the first time in centuries.

You mentally crack your knuckles in preparation. It’s Go Time! You smile and begin to casually wave back, feeling kind of warm and fuzzy inside. Your wave is initially cool and sophisticated, as that’s the image of yourself you're trying to project, but as you get more excited, it degrades into random arm flapping.

This is when it all comes crashing down around you and the catch is revealed. The attractive member of the opposite sex blows right past you, still waving. You turn around and see that this person is waving to somebody else who was standing directly behind you the whole time.

D’oh!

You quickly turn red and curse under our breath for making a fool of yourself. You hope that nobody was watching, and, if they were, that they weren’t capturing the whole episode on video with their cell phone. When you’re finally done with this mental cursing, some time later, you catch some movement out of the corner of your eye, so you twist your head to see what’s going on. It’s then revealed that you’re still waving/arm-flapping, like a total moron. You reach up with your other hand and pull down your runaway-waving arm. With that complete, you look around for some giant hole to fall into forever.

I’ll admit this has happened to me a couple of times. However, I’ve learned from my mistakes, and I’m now callous and suspicious of anybody waving to me, even if it’s my mother. You know the saying. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Or something like that.

What’s my point? Heck, I don’t know. I just hate it when that happens.