Male Pride: The Case Studies

Male pride is an interesting thing.

For example, take a male who is playing baseball and who collides with a catcher twice his size at home plate, because sliding in would be considered the easy way out. Once the dust clears, it then becomes apparent that this person’s leg now bends in roughly six different places it clearly wasn't meant to, so that it closely resembles a road sign for an s-curve.

He is quickly dragged to the dugout by thoughtful, caring teammates, so as not to slow down the game. He insists that he is all right. His teammates agree, and tell him to “walk it off.” (This will happen even if the person’s leg is still lying next to home plate.)

At no point will the baseball player admit that he’s hurt, even after he has passed out several times. Why? Because of male pride. Showing weakness quickly drops you to the bottom rung of the male status ladder, right there around boy band singers who can hit obscenely high notes without any external influences.

Now, this isn’t meant to be a commentary on the merits of male pride, and whether it is a good or bad thing. It is just a presentation of several examples, where you can take away from them whatever you would like.

Next is the M&M wager that a co-worker and I had a year or so ago. At that time, we had a candy dish in our workplace that was constantly being filled with M&Ms. Showing willpower that most could only dream of, I managed to limit myself to eating them to special occasions: celebrations of project milestones, Fridays, whenever something was annoying me, whenever I happened to walk by them, whenever I made a special trip to work on the weekend solely to eat M&Ms, etc.

My co-worker was doing no better than I, so we made a wager. The first person to eat an M&M owed the other a dollar. Now, a dollar is pretty insignificant in the big picture, but both of us didn’t want to be the one to fold. Suddenly, male pride was on the line, and I instantly developed willpower I never knew I had. We lasted around six months until we agreed to put an end to the wager, since we both knew the other wasn’t going to crack.

This brings us up to the latest wager, which is between that same co-worker and I. It stemmed from the fact that some of my pants that used to fit well are now a little snug. The same thing was happening with my co-worker, so it seemed appropriate to leverage our male pride again. Without getting into specifics, we now have a wager that is based on each of us hitting our own specific weight loss goal.

Since this has started, I have been gifted with willpower I haven’t known since the M&M days. Cool Mint Double Stuff Oreos, which I can normally hear whispering in my ear from the far side of the grocery store, miraculously no longer have a hold on me. Whenever I’m tempted by them, or something similar, I just think about how horrible it would be to lose the wager, and I suck it up and eat a carrot stick.

We are about a week in, and I’m feeling pretty good. I’m confident I can keep it up and reach my goal. However, a little encouragement is always helpful, so feel free to give me high five the next time you see me. But not too hard. I’ve been feeling a little weak lately, for some reason. Also, if I babble incoherently and try to make you to check your pockets to see if you have a breath mint or a Life Saver I can have, just ignore me. It’s just a side effect of male pride.