But I’m getting ahead of myself, so let’s jump back a bit to about two hours prior, or roughly
Now, Garth is definitely Top Three in my book (along with Merle and Strait) so needless to say I was excited. However, I was also bored, as I was sick of watching the advertisements for GhostTunes that had been playing on the big screen for about two presidential administrations as we waited for Mr. Brooks, who I was beginning to think had forgotten about the concert and was sleeping on his couch in
For those unaware, GhostTunes is the new digital music service that Garth has launched, and he’s definitely pushing it at his concerts. Now, I don’t know much about the service itself, but all I can say is that its logo is a little ghost with headphones who’s quite familiar looking, to the point where as I watched the stream of never-ending advertisements, I kept waiting for Pac-Man to show up and chomp it.
Everybody else waiting with me must have been sick of GhostTunes adds too, and the crowd, apparently thinking that it was still the 90’s, decided to try and get The Wave going. During the first few attempts, it died rather quickly, as one grumpy section of fans refused to participate. I watched them enviously, wishing that I could be a part of their stubbornness. (I’m very good at non-participation.) The rest of the crowd, however, kept trying, and eventually even the crotchety individuals of Section Grumpy were driven by implicit social pressure to throw up their hands, and thus The Wave made several successful circles around the arena. This was amusing for a minute or so, but soon everybody got tired of it and continued to wait in a non metachronally-rhythmic fashion until the lights finally went dim.
Garth hadn’t forgotten about us!
After a 60 second countdown on the big screen, he came out onstage amidst a tidal wave of hissing steam, seizure inducing lights, and blaring music, singing the title song to his new album “Man Against Machine.” Nobody in the crowd knew the words, and so the general response was one of mild confusion, along with a lot of blinking due to the massive amounts of flashing lights. I half expected a holographic ghost to go floating by.
But this didn’t last long, as the lightshow ended and Garth quickly dove into his catalog of classic hits, starting with “Rodeo,” followed by “Two Of A Kind.” Most of the crowd quickly joined in the singing, but I held back, as it takes me quite a while to work up to engaging in something so boisterous and flamboyant as singing at a concert.
An unexpected moment came during “The Beaches of Cheyenne,” where I noticed there were two fiddles going, which made me quite happy, since fiddles just make everything better. (Why do you think “fiddlesticks” is such a great word?)
Eventually, we got to one of the highlights of the evening, which was “The River,” during which time hundreds of glowing cell phones were held aloft, giving the arena an almost magical feel, and everybody (including me!) happily sang along. By this point we’d all been totally sucked in, as evidenced by the fact that we were soon cheering wildly and singing along to a song about grisly murder. (“Papa Loved Mama.”)
Next, Garth mentioned how he was about 110 years old, but that he’d learned to pace himself, at which point he then jumped into the frenetic “Ain’t Going Down ('Til The Sun Comes Up)” where he ran around like a maniac and climbed the spherical cage that the drummer was playing in. During this time I’m quite certain that he suffered several cardiac events, along with possibly a mild stroke, but man was it entertaining!
The concert rolled on, and soon we were again cheering wildly and singing along to another tune about grisly murder. (“The Thunder Rolls”)
Then came something else from his new album, a song titled “People Loving People,” which was the cue for about half the arena to head for the bathroom. The rest of us stayed behind, and at Garth’s instructions, we clapped and sang along to the lyrics that were showing on the big screen. (I’m not sure if they were for him or us.) Or at least we tried to clap and sing along. I’m terrible at clapping in rhythm, and after screwing up several times, I gave up and decided to instead focus my energy entirely on screwing up the lyrics, which I accomplished even though at several points during the song they were, and I quote: “Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!”
Once everybody returned from the bathroom, Trisha Yearwood joined the party and we all cheered wildly and sung along to a song about cheating on your partner. (“In Another’s Eyes.”) When it was over, Garth stepped back and let her sing “X’s and O’s,” during which time the big screen showed clips of bloopers from her cooking show. I’m not kidding. I still don’t get it.
To be totally honest, I expected to be bored by Trisha’s part of the show, but the woman can sing, and I found myself thoroughly enjoying her five song set. I also spent part of this time people-watching, which I found to be thoroughly entertaining because the vast majority of the crowd was by this point dancing in a manner that can only be described as incredibly awkward. (“Sway left… sway right… what am I supposed to do with my hands?!!”)
After Trisha left the stage, Garth returned and soon after came another highlight, “Calling Baton Rouge,” a great song with chaotic energy. I didn’t even mind the fact that there wasn’t anybody playing the banjo. (Banjos are almost as cool as fiddles.)
Next up, “Friends in Low Places,” which is where the booing came in, although initially the place erupted into hearty cheers that lasted throughout the first two verses and chorus. After that came the break before the third verse, which is where Garth typically engages the audience for a while, just to make them have to wait for what’s going to be arguably the highlight of the entire show. During this time, he casually mentioned that during this tour they weren’t going to play the third verse, which is what elicited the loud cascade of good-natured booing. Sticking to his script, Garth reiterated the point, which meant that we got to boo him again, which was an incredible amount of fun. Finally, he gave up teasing us and launched into verse 3, and we all cheered wildly and sung along, despite the fact that the song wasn’t about grisly murder.
After a requisite performance of “The Dance,” the band and Garth left the stage, which then led to the first encore, which was “The Fever” and featured an incredible fiddle part. During this time, a long treadmill (honestly) was activated on the front of the stage, which allowed Garth to moonwalk if he went against the grain, and sent him flying if he went with it. At one point the fiddle player jumped on, zoomed across, and nearly took out the moon-walking Garth, who was on the other side. All in all, it was great fun, even though it seemed like the entire concept had been designed by a six-year-old boy whose only goal in life was to see people crash into each other.
After the song, the treadmill was shut down and the band again left the stage. We all cheered, and eventually Garth came back out by himself for the second encore. With just his guitar, he sang pieces of several lesser-known numbers before doing a bit of another new one, “Mom.” Then the rest of the band came out and I got to listen to my second favorite song of all time, “Much Too Young.” (Anybody who knows me should know what my favorite is...) The finale then came in the form of a rousing rendition of “Standing Outside The Fire,” which was a great way to end the show, at which point I couldn’t hear anymore, due to prolonged exposure to an arena full of people yelling directly into my ears.
Overall, it was an excellent experience, and I highly recommend it to anybody, although ever since then the stupid GhostTunes mascot has been constantly floating through my thoughts, to the point where I’m pretty sure I’ve been mildly brainwashed by the pre-show advertisements. Hmm….maybe if I listen to a song about grisly murder, I can flush it all out.
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