On Socks and Small Stuff

Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Buying apples notwithstanding, those seem to be good words to live by, since there will always be more than enough of the big stuff to worry about. (“We’re having a child? Huh! I’m sure the expenses involved with such an endeavor will be trivial!”*)

One area of small-stuff-non-sweatiness that I excel at, ironically, has to do with socks. (Are sweaty feet jokes funny? Or just plain gross? I’m leaning towards the latter…) You see, I own quite a few pair of Hanes socks, and this collection is divided evenly between socks that have a thin red line and “Hanes” printed on them, and socks that have a slightly thicker red line and “Hanes” printed on them in bold. Thus, it’s not a rare occurrence when I’ll look down and notice that I’m wearing mismatched socks.

This is where not sweating the small stuff comes in. I mean, they’re just socks! Who would notice that anyway? (“He’s perfect for the job…except his socks don’t match! Release the hounds!”) I figure if mismatched socks are the biggest thing I have to worry about, then I’m doing pretty good.

Just as long as it doesn’t spread. For example, as of right now I’m pretty good at making sure I wear matching shoes out in public. However, how much of a stretch is it for mismatching socks to turn into mismatching shoes? Or, even worse, wearing brown shoes with a black belt? Or, even worster, wearing socks and sandals? Or, even most worster, teasing one of my eyebrows slightly more than the other?

Uh-oh. Looks like I’ve gone and scared the bejeebers out of myself. Remember all of that stuff I said earlier about not sweating the small stuff? That wasn’t even close to being accurate! My devil-may-care attitude towards mismatched socks is going to come back and bite me in a big way, I just know it! But maybe there’s still time! Maybe I can change my reckless ways! So, if you’ll excuse me, I have a sock drawer to organize! **

*No, I’m not having a child. This was for illustrative purposes only. I can’t believe you thought that!

** This post is brought to you by me not having any ideas when I sat down to write this entry.