Corporate Shenanigans

Well, I’ve run out of semi-interesting things to write about in this blog, so I’m now forced to discuss something that will either put you to sleep or make you run out of the room, shrieking at the top of your lungs: Work! I will, however, do my best to incorporate Darth Vader into the mix, so perhaps all is not lost. But no promises, and I advise you to have a pillow handy if you choose to read on.

Recently, I was at work, looking at a data file given to us by one of our clients. This file included names and addresses in it. However, this was a test data file, so the names and addresses were all made up. Included on said file were records for Curly, Larry, and Moe, along with one Igor Henchman, who lived on Frok and Steen Drive. Obviously, whoever had put the file together had been bored and decided to amuse himself by coming up with silly names. I got a good chuckle out of it, not only because it was humorous, but also because I’ve done the same thing at various times in my career.

For example, during a past job I spent some time working on my company’s career web site, where applicants apply for jobs online. While doing this, I had to create a lot of job applications in our test environment, which turned out to be extremely fertile ground for using silly names. I believe I started with country music singers, which led to Waylon Jennings and Johnny Cash applying to be things such as business analysts or software developers. (“I used to be a singer, but then I realized my true calling was to sit in meetings all day long, scribbling down notes that I’ll never be able to decipher later on.”) I then moved on to fictional characters, and the likes of Indiana Jones and John Rambo were soon applying to be actuaries and accountants. (“After the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull fiasco, I had no choice but to get a job in corporate America.”)

Eventually, Darth Vader even got into the mix. (Address: 123 Death Star Drive, A Galaxy Far, Far Away, 67364) I tell you, there’s no better way to beat a bout of work boredom than by imagining Darth Vader getting a job as a junior mail clerk, where he’d push around a cart of mail and force-choke anybody who did annoying things, such as whistling in the elevator or talking on their phone while in a bathroom stall.

Yes, we office worker types are loads of fun, always looking for some way to amuse ourselves. Sometimes we’ll even go so far as to change the desktop background for somebody who left their cubicle without locking their computer. (“Aarrrggghhh!!!! It's Fabio!!!! Break the screen! Break the screen!") I know it sounds harsh, but when you’re living in a virtual Dilbert universe, you do what you must to stay sane.

Now, if only Daffy Duck would get that job as Vice President of Technology, then things would get more entertaining!