Do Your Worst, Achilles!

So it’s May, yet there’s a winter storm warning here in the Twin Cities boasting a potential of 6 to 9 inches of snow. Apparently, based on what I've read, this winter storm is named “Achilles".

Oddly enough, I’ve discovered that this never-ending winter no longer has an affect on me. When I saw the storm warning, I simply yawned and went on about my business of randomly yawning.

My lack of ill-will towards Mother Nature is odd because a week ago, I was caught up in a tremendous case of teeth-gnashing and foot-stomping because of a late-April storm that had come through and buried everything under a fresh layer of snow. (My Facebook status update, of which I rarely make unless I consider it to be something of dire importance, was: “Walking in a winter wonder-PPPHHHBBBBTTT!!!”)

But this time it’s different, and I think it’s because there’s a bunch of sand in my kitchen.

Confused? No worries, it barely makes sense to me, and I’m the one in control of my brain. I think.

What I mean is, summer has already arrived. This storm is nothing but a slight aberration as winter is finally pushed out of the door, like that weird uncle who never knows when it’s time to leave, despite plenty of less-than-subtle hints. (“Wow, it’s way past my bedtime! Got an early start tomorrow, too! Hopefully I get enough sleep! If not, I might get fired!”)

My proof of summer having already arrived is the fact that I’ve played outdoor volleyball twice in the last week. (You can tell I played because I’m limping around and constantly muttering about “old bones.”) Despite the aches, this turn of events has made me immensely happy, so happy, in fact, that a little snow can’t possibly dampen my spirits. Bring it on, Achilles!! We’ve already looped around the alphabet in naming our storms, so one more of you guys can’t possibly hurt!!

I suppose you’re wondering about the sand. Well, that’s because I didn’t sufficiently shake out my clothing after volleyball the other day, and when I walked into my kitchen upon getting home, I accidentally deposited enough of it in there to make a small beach. It’s a wonderful sight, actually. Proof of summer, right there underfoot!

As for Achilles, let’s see what you've got! You don’t scare me! You’re like a toothless vampire, or a ghost that forgot the word “Boo!”, or a used-car salesman with laryngitis.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to look out of the window and stick my tongue out at the falling snow.

After that, I should probably sweep up a little.