Ugh

It’s been a while since I’ve last figuratively took pen in hand to leave another of my small imprints on the internet. I’d like to say it’s because I’ve been busy furthering myself as an individual and really “making hay,” but the real reason is because I’ve been spending all of my time curled up in the fetal position and whimpering.

This is because it’s still winter, and that makes me sad.

I’ve kind of always thought that the weather of any given place will sort of balance out over the year. For example, the summers are absolutely beautiful in the U.P. where I grew up, but the winters there invariably bring roughly forty-seven feet of snow, which starts in early October and ends in mid-May. On the southeastern coast, you can live on the ocean and bask in the sun constantly, which is probably very nice, but you also have to keep in mind that every few years a hurricane is going to come along and transfer all of your worldly possessions to one or more of the plain states.

Here in Minnesota, the winter ends in late March or the beginning of April, and thus its residents get an early jump on warm spring weather and trying to keep the children from playing in mud holes. In return for this respite from the chill and snow, the summer’s are like living in the armpit of a sumo wrestler, except with more airborne insects that will suck you dry in minutes if you're not careful. That’s the deal that’s been struck with Mother Nature.

However, Mother Nature has apparently gone rogue and decided that winter is going to last here until the end of time. (Either that, or she’s a terrible practical joker.) As I type these words, the landscape is blanketed in a fresh layer of snow, courtesy of a nice little storm that appears to be sent by Mother Nature as her way of thumbing her nose at us. “The heck with our little agreement!” she seems to be saying. “May you never see the sun or green grass again! Ha-ha!”

As you can probably guess, Mother Nature and I are no longer on good terms. The chasm that’s grown between us is not yet unbridgeable, but it’s getting there fast, and she’d better clean up her act pretty quick unless she wants to lose me as a friend forever. I’m talking warm weather and melting snow, STAT! No more fooling around!

Well, I believe I’ve made my case. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some more whimpering that I need to take care of. Feel free to join in, if you're so moved.