The Deer and the Trusty Honda

For those of you who don’t know, I’m sort of a physics geek, and so when the opportunity arose for me to find out what would happen when both my car and a deer attempted to occupy the same spot at the same time, I leapt at the chance.

Or maybe it was the deer who was into physics and who leapt at the chance. I don’t really remember. It all happened pretty fast.

Regardless of the instigator of the experiment, the end result was some damage being taken by the trusty Honda.

I assume the deer also incurred some damage, but he didn’t stick around long enough to swap insurance information. Maybe he had to get back to his home to discuss his scientific findings with the other deer nerds.

But I digress. My reason I’m writing this isn’t to discuss the deer, but rather the trusty Honda.

                      

I’ve had the Honda for close to 10 years and 160,000 miles, and we’ve become very close. We never have too much to say to each other, but it’s always been a comfortable silence that’s existed between us. Plus, it never minds when I feel the need to belt out George Strait at the top of my lungs. I guess you could say we just get each other.

I’ve heard it said that the kind of car you buy reflects the type of person you are, and in my case, I believe it to be true.

The Honda isn’t much to look at, but it also doesn’t send you screaming away in terror – at least not that I’ve noticed – and while I might be wrong, I feel like I also fit that description.

The Honda is also pretty quiet (it doesn’t even have rear speakers) and for the most part, I try not to be too loud.

The Honda is reliable. Besides routine maintenance, it rarely has to go into the shop, and in my case, I’m pretty sure my primary care physician is, at this point, Dr. Cox from Scrubs.

The Honda is low-tech. It has no blind-spot detector or backup camera. There’s no GPS or DVD player, and it most definitely doesn’t get WIFI. As for me, while I carry a smart phone like everybody else, I have no plans of ever wearing smart glasses, a smart watch, or smart clothing. A phone is more than enough. The day my watch tells me to look at my phone so I can read a text is the day I hurl myself off a cliff. (Assuming Google maps can direct me to one.)

In addition, the Honda has plenty of room in the rear to carry around my stuff, including a volleyball, a basketball, horseshoes, and a tennis racket. I guess, for lack of better words, you could say there’s a lot of junk in the trunk. As for me – wait, what’s that? That’s enough with the parallels? It’s time to move on with the essay? Well, I guess so…

As you can probably see, the Honda is more than just a car to me, and so after the deer incident, there was never any question in my mind as to if I’d abandon it. No, the decision was always to get it fixed. Luckily, it remained in a driveable condition, and it’s been meeting my transportation needs ever since. It reminds me of a basketball player who sprains his ankle but gets right back into the game. “Just tape it up and get me back out there!” is the Honda’s motto.

Now, however, the Honda’s appointment at the body shop is drawing near, and I’m getting nervous. We’re going to be apart for the better part of a week, and separation anxiety is beginning to set in. Also, I’m worried that the repairs will be a too invasive or there’ll be unforeseen complications. Talk about stressful! All I know for sure is that I’ll be anxiously awaiting the phone call where I'm told the repairs went well and the Honda is resting quietly, waiting for me to pick him… er it up.

Assuming everything goes well, there’s one thing I’d like to do when it's all said and done: give the Honda a proper nickname. I’ve been trying to for years, but nothing has stuck. It’s not rough-and-tumble enough to be a “Hoss” and it’s not decayed enough  to be a “Rusty.” Sure, it’s been called the Grandpa-Mobile on more than one occasion, but I’d like to come up with something a little more edgy. Any suggestions? If not, I’ll have plenty of time to mull it over, because when it’s in the shop I’m sure I won’t be getting any sleep.