Get Rich Quick Scheme

So I figured out how to get rich! And better yet, since I’m desperate for any sort of attention, I’m going to share my idea with you!

As with most get-rich-quick stories, this one begins at Kwik Trip. (Source: Bureau of Imaginary Statistics) I was checking out, and my total came to $8.07. This didn’t seem like a worthy enough amount to break out a credit card for, so I paid with a ten-dollar bill.

Now here’s where things get interesting: The cashier proceeded to give me two dollars in change! Immediately, my mind started spinning, and before I’d left the building, I realized that I’d hit the mother lode. (If I was a cartoon character, my eyes would have turned into dollar signs.)



 

Here’s my line of thinking: People are lazy, and cashiers are people, so cashiers are thus lazy. (Source: Associative Property Of Laziness) Now, as more and more people begin to pay for goods with credit cards, cashiers will have to handle cash much less, and when they do, especially to make change, it will become more and more of an annoyance to them. Thus, over time, they will be more likely to take short cuts, such as giving somebody $2.00 back instead of $1.93, since they're too lazy to count out ninety-three cents in change.

So my plan now is to pay for everything with cash and force the cashiers to make change. This will be a huge annoyance to them, and over time they’ll begin to cut bigger and bigger corners in my favor just to save themselves some work. Think about it! I saved seven cents today, but that’s just the beginning! Cashiers are only going to get lazier! That number is bound to go up! Pretty soon I’ll pay for a $9.99 purchase with a ten and get back a full dollar! Or even a five! It’s foolproof! Hooray for the growing culture of laziness and entitlement in this great land!

Of course, in order for this to work I have to buy lots of stuff, perhaps stuff I don’t even use, such as deodorant. And I’m not really making money on the deal, just paying less. So, in retrospect, I guess it’s more of a go-broke-slower scheme than a get-rich-quick scheme.

But what the heck, I’ll do it anyway. It’s fun watching cashiers get annoyed when they have to count out change!