Throughout adulthood, my relationship with the Christmas Spirit
has always been fickle. One moment I’ll be annoyed at how hectic and
over-commercialized it all is, and the next I’ll have watched It’s a
Wonderful Life and want to run up and down the street hugging everybody that I
see. So, it came as no surprise when in late November I began to have
mixed feelings about putting up my Christmas tree.
The Grinch in me (who gets easily
annoyed by Christmas music, Frosty the Snowman, and children’s laughter) argued
that it was a complete waste of time and effort, while the child in me wanted
not only to put it up, but also to have candy canes for dinner.
This conflict lasted for quite a while, and it was only
resolved once I’d returned home from a foray to the Upper Peninsula for
Thanksgiving, which was when I decided that since I’d spent good money on the stupid tree in
the first place, I might as well put it up. And so, armed with an temperament that leaned more towards cynicism than it did the Christmas Spirit, I pulled the tree out of
mothballs and made it this far before giving up:
The next day, feeling a burst of inspiration, I pulled out
my box of ornaments. My intent was to get perhaps a quarter of the tree
decorated before inevitably being distracted by the prospects of a good chair
nap, but surprisingly, an hour or so later the entire job was done!
Now, before we go any further, I have to warn you that this
is going to get a little sappy, and I apologize beforehand. However, it is the
Christmas season, and I’m allowed to be a bit sentimental.
Anyway, the reason I was able to get the entire tree
decorated in one shot was because I found that going through my collection of ornaments was both fun and – dare I say it? – a little heartwarming. Here are a few examples of what I had to work with:
The Ninja
My nephew made this for me last year, after I’d
seen some of his earlier work in the same vein and put in a request for one.
The best part about this ninja is that he's dressed in black from head to toe, and when he's on the tree he just sort of disappears, like you'd expect a ninja to.
But deep in my heart I know he’s always there, constantly protecting my house from burglars.
The Red Bird
This ornament was snuck onto the tree last
year by my sister. It has a motion detector, which, when set off, causes the bird to sing cheerfully. Now, while this feature is fun in theory, it turns
out that the motion detector was calibrated so finely that it picked up
eye-blinks in the adjacent room, which meant that it never, ever, EVER shut up,
and within a day the constant chirping had pushed me to the brink of insanity. Needless to say, I had
to take out its batteries, and now it sits in the tree, blissfully quiet.
Homer Simpson
The awesomeness of this one is pretty
self-explanatory. I mean, it’s Homer Simpson!
Snowman Whose Head is Bigger Than His Body
This was
constructed by one of my nieces or nephews, and it cracks me up every time I
look at it.
Baby Me
Proof that I was once adorable and cuddly. Also, I
was pretty much rocking the bald look way back then!
Chewbacca
This isn’t even an ornament, but it amuses me in
so many ways. First, it looks more like a random lump of fur than it does
Chewbacca. Second, when you squeeze it, Chewy emits a hilarious roar that I
can’t even begin to describe. And third, it reminds me of the time last year
when my brother and I bought it, which was during a roughly 24-hour period where we devolved from mature
adults to a pair of giggling lunatics, which is usually what happens when we get together.
Bacon and Eggs
I like this one because even though it has
nothing to do with Christmas, it still involves bacon, and bacon transcends
everything.
Gingerbread Ninjas
Another contribution from the nephews
and nieces. (Apparently, ninjas were the popular thing for a while.) They made me quite
a few of these ornaments, and each one makes me happy, especially the one pictured above.
The Grinch
Every time I look at him, The Grinch Song gets
stuck in my head. (“You’re a mean one, mister Grinch…”) And now it’s probably
stuck in yours!
Darth Vader
It’s nice to know that even one of the most
famous villains of all time has a little Christmas spirit in him. Also, his
head is gigantic!
Minion
This is about as self-explanatory as Homer Simpson.
Basketballs
These were delivered to me at one point from
an anonymous source, so if you’re reading this, thank you!
Snowman and/or Angel
Another work by the nieces and/or
nephews. I think it’s a snowman, but it also looks suspiciously like an angel.
Either way, this is one of my favorite things to pull from the ornament box.
Spider-Man
Another example of something being used as an ornament that’s really not. However, it’s still Spider-Man, who was a big part of
my childhood, and he certainly deserves a place on the tree. Thwip!!
Bear That I’m Pretty Sure Was Made By My Niece Who Is Now A Licensed
Driver
The years they do fly by!
In the end, my tree isn’t perfect. There are ornaments too
close to other ornaments of the same color, and places where
something should be where nothing is. Also, I still haven't gotten an extension cord to plug in the star, and I'm still short one tree skirt. However, I don’t really care. I like
it just the way it is, and I think that's as close to the Christmas Spirit as I'm going to get.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get dinner going. Those
candy canes aren’t going to prepare themselves!
